


Dodo

by DaisyFairy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex (mentioned), Boys Kissing, Dildos, Everyone but Sherlock and John only make brief appearances, First Time, Frottage, M/M, Misunderstandings, Out of Control Autocorrect, soft toy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:21:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6930412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/pseuds/DaisyFairy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this because I do most of my writing on my phone and there is a certain word that the autocorrect keeps changing to dodo.</p>
<p>This is what happens when Sherlock tries to send a message to John and his autocorrect is just as prudish as mine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dodo

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case it isn't clear, the bits in italics are Sherlock's thoughts.

"Just tell me what you want." John orders having reached the end of his tether.

"It is a pointless tradition." Sherlock replies sounding bored.

"Yes, it probably is, but it's your birthday and people want to get you gifts, so tell. me. what. you. want."

"I didn't get anything for Molly last month."

"Yes you did, I bought that expensive perfume and put both of our names on it."

"You do realise this is why people think we are a couple." Sherlock teases.

"Yeah, yeah. Birthday list, now!"  
   
"Only children have "birthday lists"."

"Children and consulting detectives who last year accepted every gift with the most obvious fake smile I have ever seen and then left them all in the restaurant."

"Really, what was I going to do with that book, I don't know what Mrs Hudson was thinking."

"No, obviously a man who loves his violin more than anything else in the world would have no use for a book on the history of violins, she must have been crazy." John says with sarcasm dripping from every word. "Just tell me what you want and I will leave you alone."

"Fine. I will text you a list."

"Thank you."

So Sherlock sets about texting John,

**I would like**  
**-Slides for microscope**  
**-New glass beakers**  
**-Two kidneys (human)**  
**-A 12 inch dildo**  
**SH**

" _That should shock him into forgetting about this whole ridiculous birthday situation_." He thinks to himself. Perhaps it would have, but in his rush to shock John he had not checked his text and failed to notice that his prudish auto correct had changed the word dildo into the word dodo.

John's phone beeps and he pulls it out and reads the text Sherlock had sent. He nods and looks slightly quizzical "Sure?"

Sherlock looks at him enjoying the confusion "I'm quite sure John, I've always wanted one of those, I had a smaller one years ago but I just think a larger one will be more satisfying." He sits back in his chair expectantly, waiting for John to burst into flames in mortification.

John thinks on this for a second, he has seen the rather battered stuffed bumblebee, obviously a childhood toy, tucked away in the corner of Sherlock's room, so it's not much of a stretch to believe he would want a stuffed dodo. "I suppose it would be. Ok. If you're sure. That's great, there are four of us and four gifts."

Sherlock just stares at him. " _What is going on? John is perfectly happy with the idea of me asking for sex toys for my birthday? Rather ridiculously large sex toys_?" He continues to stare at John for several minutes, even after John himself has left the room muttering about talking to the others about Sherlock's list.

\---

Sherlock spends the afternoon trying to understand John's reaction. He  considers the slight possibility that John has taken his request seriously and would be willing to change their relationship to one that might require such things as silicon phalluses, but dismisses this notion, nice as it may be, because John would never want that.

Eventually he comes to  the conclusion that John knew he had been trying to embarrass him and was playing along to try to embarrass Sherlock in return. Well two could play at that game.

\----

The next day John comes back from the surgery and finds Sherlock sitting in his armchair examining crime scene photos.

"I think I should give you that last item on your list, that way I can give it to you when we get back from the restaurant so the others don't have to see." John says as he absent mindedly tidies away some of the books that have accumulated on the floor.

_"John thinks I won't be able to go through with this in public, I'll show him. He is going to be the one to blink first."_

"No need. Why would I be ashamed of it, you should give me my present at the restaurant just like the others." Sherlock says, and looks expectantly at John, waiting for him to back down.

"Ok, yeah, you're right, no reason to be ashamed about it. Now, what do you want for dinner?" John replies, leaving Sherlock totally nonplussed.

\---

As John walks to collect the Indian he ponders the conversation he had had with Sherlock. On the surface it had been simple, there really is no reason for a grown man not to have a cuddly toy, but he had thought maybe Sherlock would want it to be private. The strange part had been when he had told John to give him the gift in public he had looked at him as if it was a dare, there is something else going on here but John can't think what it could possibly be.

\----

A few days later it is Sherlock's birthday. John left for work before Sherlock woke up. They are to meet at the restaurant that evening, so Sherlock spends the day pottering around with a few experiments until it is time to leave.

As he pottered he gradually realised that he was becoming a little nervous, " _John wouldn't really go through with it would he? In front of everyone? No. He is always saying he's "not gay" and giving me a dildo would be bound to convince everyone that we are a couple. A couple who were rather inappropriately comfortable with public displays of their sexual relationship, but a couple nonetheless. I can't back down though, I can't let him win."_

\---

Evening comes and Sherlock finds himself in the restaurant being plied with food and alcohol, everyone seems to think that just because he has spent another year on this planet he needs to drink excessive amounts of wine.

Mrs Hudson starts the gift giving with a small parcel containing fresh microscope slides, Greg follows up with a larger box full of various sizes of glass breakers. Molly gives him a birthday card and a promise that he can have some kidneys as soon as she can obtain them.

Then it is John's turn, he pulls out an unexpectedly large box wrapped in metallic blue paper.

Sherlock stares at the proffered gift for a moment _"I can't back down now_." He thinks. He takes the parcel uncertainly and unwraps it slowly, glancing up at John every few seconds to see if John will stop him. As the last of the paper falls away Sherlock gapes at the colourful box within with a clear Perspex front showing a large and very fluffy stuffed toy dodo inside. He looks at John and sees his friend smiling back at him.

"I hope that's alright Sherlock, there weren't many that size to choose from."

Sherlock looks back at the box in confusion.

"That is right isn't it? That's what you put on your list." John says sounding worried.

Sherlock pulls out his phone and scrolls back through his texts, coming upon the one he had sent to John the previous week he immediately sees his mistake.

The others are all staring at him, obviously wondering what this unusual gift is about. He is just going to have to brazen it out.

"Yes, thank you John. As I told you I had one as a boy and unfortunately it got lost. This is very acceptable." Greg, Molly and Mrs Hudson all seem happy with this explanation, but John looks slightly suspicious.

\----

After the meal Greg helps John, Sherlock and Mrs Hudson to the cab with Sherlock's presents and waves them off before going to walk Molly home. Mrs Hudson has had far too much sherry and won't stop talking about what a lovely night it has been and how lovely the present is that John had got for Sherlock.

Once Mrs Hudson has been safely deposited in her flat and the boys have successfully got the glassware stowed away in the kitchen and the dodo has been hidden away in Sherlock's room they sit in their armchairs with a glass of whisky each.

"So, what do you really think of the dodo?"

"It's lovely John, thank you."

"Hmm, not very good for sticking up your arse though is it?"

Sherlock drops his glass, whisky spilling all over his trousers.

"Took me a bit of time to work out, I only realised when you checked the text you had sent me that "dodo"isn't what you meant it to say. It definitely explained why you have been looking at me all week like we were in the middle of a game of chicken that you were losing."

"So you know what I meant to write."

"Oh yes, you bastard. You thought you would shock me didn't you?"

Sherlock chuckles "I was a bit thrown when I told you a larger one would be more satisfying and you just agreed with me."

"At the time I was just thinking in terms of a soft toy to cuddle, which I was a little surprised at, but if I had realised you were talking about sex toys I would have had a very different answer."

"You would have been shocked."

"A bit, and I would have told you that it's not really the size that matters." John says with a suggestive wink.

Sherlock's mouth drops open and his eyes go wide.

John gets up from his chair and walks slowly towards him with a predatory look in his eye. He holds his hand out and says "Would you like a practical demonstration? I can't promise 12 inches, but I've never had any complaints."

Sherlock's brain has gone completely offline, but he reflexively takes John's hand and is pulled out of his chair. John kisses him lightly on the lips, then again on the cheek.

"Let me give you the rest of your birthday present Mr Holmes." John whispers in his ear as he leads Sherlock towards his bedroom.

\---

John is walking backwards, pulling Sherlock by the hand through the bedroom door when Sherlock resists and stands still in the doorway.

John steps closer and rests his hands on Sherlock's hips, looking directly into his eyes he leans up and kisses him softly.

"Alright?" He asks quietly.

"John, is this just for my birthday?"

John smiles and replies "Just for special occasions."

Sherlock feels pain inside that this is just a one off, just sex, but if that is all that he can have he will take it.

John smirks and continues "Birthdays" a small kiss "Christmas" another kiss "Easter" kiss "Halloween, St George's Day" kiss (Sherlock's face is beginning to light up) "Closed a case day, got a new case day" kiss "and every day with a y in it, because they are just worth celebrating, and I can't think of any better way to celebrate every single day of my life than by being with you."

Sherlock is beaming and his eyes are filling with tears.

"So, are you alright?"

"Yes." Sherlock breathes, then takes a deep breath and enthusiasticly shouts "Yes! Yes! Yes!" As he pushes past John and then drags the doctor forcefully to the bed.

Now that their mutual attraction has been revealed they can't wait any longer to touch and be touched. Clothes are torn away, buttons skittering across the floor and seams ripping. As their bodies are revealed they kiss fiercely, only breaking contact when necessary to pull John's t-shirt over his head.

They are kneeling naked on the bed facing one another and John nuzzles and licks at Sherlock's neck before nipping lightly to the sensitive skin on his jaw and moving lower to suck at the younger man's collar bone until he has been marked. Sherlock tips his head back as John works and rubs his hands up and down John's back before setting them on John's arse grasping his buttocks firmly.

"Oh, you are perfect." John exclaims and he pulls away to examine the younger man. He urges Sherlock to lay back and hovers over him, his knees between Sherlock's thighs and his arms bracing on either side of Sherlock to hold him up.

Sherlock grasps John's hips and digs his fingers in, he screws his eyes closed for a second, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He opens his eyes and stares up at John, his expression is the most open that Sherlock has ever seen it, and it displays pure desire. "I was promised a present." He says teasingly.

John surges down and kisses Sherlock again, their tongues tangle and their bodies are flush. Their hot, hard shafts rub together perfectly and John begins rutting against the taller man. Sherlock arches his back in pleasure at the feel of John's weight holding him down and his cock against his own providing perfect friction.

The kisses continue and their pelvises jerk, finding a rhythm that within minutes leads to heat building in their groins and shuddering orgasms with incoherent cries of pleasure.

John rolls off of Sherlock and wipes them down with Sherlock's ruined shirt, then lies next to him panting. Sherlock reaches down and takes John's hand, entwining their fingers.

John whispers "I love you Sherlock Holmes, happy birthday!"

Sherlock turns on his side to see John more clearly and replies "I love you too John Watson, but I do seem to remember promises of a demonstration of your cock up my arse."

John laughs, a full body laugh that won't die away for several minutes. Sherlock watches him with a large grin on his face. Once calmness has descended once more John raises their joined hands to his lips and kisses Sherlock's fingers tenderly.

"Oh, you will get your demonstration, I think I will enjoy giving you one first thing in the morning."

Sherlock chuckles "Was that supposed to be innuendo?"

"Yes." John says with a smirk. "Now go to sleep, you are going to need your energy in the morning."

"This was the best birthday ever John."

"I knew you would like your dodo." John teases pulling Sherlock into a hug and kissing his curls.

 

\--

**Author's Note:**

> Side note, there is another word that my autocorrect keeps changing to duck. Apparently my phone is obsessed with birds :-)


End file.
